Have you tried FS today? We just put out the update to the launcher to make it run with 1.51 (so it should be good for you now, no crashing when launching FS). As for the server joining thing..hmm. Try clearing your cache, this is found in My Documents, Battlefield 2142, Mods, FirstStrike. Just delete everything in the cache folder. The game will repopulate with contents but it will cause you to load shaders again when you first start loading.
Bite my shiny metal Tie Fighter!

