• Bandu
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Topic: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

"It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...."


Anyone fancy re-writing the opening crawl of A New Hope, from the perspective of the Empire?

I'm working on a project that needs it. Therefore, if any of your re-writes are used , whether it be 1 line of the full thing, you will be credited.

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  • Twigs
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Re: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

It is a period of galactic rebellion. Insurgent spaceships, striking from a hidden base, continue to make cowardly hit and fade attacks againt the Galactic Empire.

During one such raid, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empires greatest technological triumph, the DEATH STAR. This armoured space station holds enough power to destroy an entire planet, even with these plans the Rebels will be unable to prevent their imminent destruction.

The Empires intelligence agents have tracked the location of these plans to a diplomatic ship carrying the Princess Leia, we will retrieve the plans and locate the rebel base....

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Re: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

It is a time of trechery and deceit. Rebel vessils continue to engage in pathetic guerilla warfare with the supreme Galactic Empire.

During one such pathetic encounter, rebel agents somehow managed to steal the plans to the Empires greatest display of power and superiority the Death Star. This station is the ultimate power in the galaxy wielding the power to vaporise an entire planet.

Lord Vaders vessel has tracked the plans to a so called diplomatic ship in which the princess Leia of Alderaan is travelling. The plans will be retreived and the rebels destroyed.

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4 Reply by Suriander (edited by Suriander 2008-03-27 17:22:10)

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Re: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

It is a period of civil war.  The South has seceded from the Union, and has declared war on the North.

During one reconnaissance operation, Union spies managed to steal secret plans to the South's greatest triumph yet, the CSS Virginia, an ironclad warship with enough firepower to sink an entire fleet.

The South has tracked these spies on a train bound for the North, and will retrieve them at all costs in order to uphold the Confederacy.

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  • TY2D2
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Re: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

Unrelenting attacks by the Rebels from their hidden base have led to dark times for our Galactic Empire.

Rebel insurgents managed to steal plans to our supreme display of dominion in the galaxy, the Death Star, the most powerful force known to the galaxy. 

The stolen plans have been tracked to a rebel ship fleeing the Imperial Star Destroyer [name]. The traitorous Princess Leia and the rebels will not escape. The plans will be recovered and order will be ensured throughout the galaxy.




Tried to change it up a bit so its not just a swap of adjectives and subjects.

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Re: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

Suriander wrote:

It is a period of civil war.  The South has seceded from the Union, and has declared war on the North.

During one reconnaissance operation, Union spies managed to steal secret plans to the South's greatest triumph yet, the CSS Virginia, an ironclad warship with enough firepower to sink an entire fleet.

The South has tracked these spies on a train bound for the North, and will retrieve them at all costs in order to uphold the Confederacy.

Who will be triumphant?  We can only wonder...

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7 Reply by Bandu (edited by FSDev| Bandu 2008-03-27 23:17:30)

  • Bandu
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Re: A New Hope opening crawl challenge!

Thanks Twigs , Stardestroyersarecool and TY (and erm. Suriander..I guess lol)

Heres 2 drafts of what I am looking at now. Feel free to propose changes.

1.
"It is a period of galactic rebellion. Insurgent spaceships, striking from a hidden base, continue to make cowardly hit and fade attacks against the Galactic Empire.


During one such raid, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empires greatest technological triumph, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to sustain Galactic order.


Pursued by the Empire's best agents, the traitorous Princess Leia retreats home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that could threaten the security of the whole galaxy...."



2.
"It is a period of treachery and deceit. Insurgent spaceships, striking from a hidden base, continue to make cowardly hit and fade attacks against the Galactic Empire.


During one such raid, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empires greatest technological triumph, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough firepower to sustain Galactic order.


Pursued by the Empire's best agents, the traitorous Princess Leia retreats home aboard her starship, along with the stolen plans that threaten the security of the whole galaxy...."




I've tried to make it about the Empires concern about order and the security of the populace rather than the power of the empire itself.



EDIT:

Personally I am leaning towards the 2nd option. I have whipped together a crappy MovieMaker vid using it here: http://s55.photobucket.com/player.swf?r … 1&ap=1

"Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavours to live at the expense of everybody else."
Frédéric Bastiat