-== BEGIN TRANSMISSION ==-

*bbbzzrtt*

,... Rebel combatants seen *bbbzert*

... screamed "THEY JUST KEEP RUSHING US, WHO ARE THESE TWO STORMTROOPERS!?"
before numerous flachette shots.. *bbzzrt*

And in other news,
The A.S.E.F (Awesome Squad Expeditionary Force) has completed another great achievement in the field of unconventional exploration by reaching the uppermost solid deck level of a Victory Class Star-Destroyer. Previous accomplishments by the group were a few events such as:

-Driving a speeder bike into the top of an Anti-Air tower on endor causes it to become ethereal and pass right through it.

- Reaching the top of an ewok tree village using a speeder bike.

- Launching a speeder bike half-way across the map by leaning inwards at the right angle on a moisture vaporator.

The list carries on from there, but now onto the rest of our news feature.

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((Camera switches over to a view of a star destroyer loading bay filled with armor clad stormtroopers clapping as a single TIE pilot emerges from a lambda shuttle, followed closely by a team of imperial medical staff carrying a hover dolly holding a very bandaged second fighter pilot))

((The foremost TIE pilot walks his way down the line, waving happily, and comes to a stop at a raised podium with a make-shift setup of sound amplification devices. The second pilot, waving feebly and groaning on occasion, is wheeled in beside the first pilot and the crowd goes silent))

TacoNinja: Thank you, thanks to all of you for allowing us to test the limits of the spirit of adventure and granting us access to all the wonderful technology, and people, this empire has to offer.

(( An echo of applause fills the hangar and the pilot waves them into silence))

TacoNinja: Although my friend here sustained great injuries, due to a scare by rebel deviants,

Killer3wok: Urghhh.. my everything..

TacoNinja: Yes i know, your injured. Now shut up. Yes even thoe my companion here received most grevious bodily harm from the expedition, i would like to think it was a great success! Thank you all again and we hope you enjoy our reports of our latest experience in the next Imperial Interest Holo-supliment. Remember to purchase holo-vid footage of our experiences to ensure we can keep these projects going! Good afternoon to you all!

(( A third round of applause floods the hangar as the two pilots are taken off to the infirmary for minor shock treatment and full-scale bacta rehabilitation))

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We have for you now the exclusive press release of some recordings of this trip.

= The journey begins, Killer3wok is shuttled by pilot TacoNinja towards the edge of the destroyer =

= The craft clears the ridge and heads towards the top at a slow pace, this is about day 16 =

= Finally after a 28 day journey, the team arrives at the top of the star destroyer =

= The view is breath taking =

= Unfortunately, not noticing his companion fleeing from two approaching rebel craft, Killer3wok,
is caught off-guard by a speeding x-wing... =

= This picture was taken from surveillance camera #2842-203 demonstrating the results of the impact =

Although severely wounded by his fall, and other injuries sustained by impacting ion cannon fire, Killer3wok is expected to make a full recovery.
This station hopes that within time, the empire can look forward to seeing many more of these inspiring acts by these two courageous, masculine, brave, sexy, overwhelmingly charming soldiers.